Duke Nukem Forever
Developer: 3D Realms (Gearbox Software, Triptych Games, Piranha Games)
Price: $60.00
Platform: Xbox 360 [reviewed], PS3, PC

Back in May 1996, there was a little title released by 3D Realms called Duke Nukem 3D. The game used the infamous DOS-gaming character Duke Nukem to create an absurd parody of the ever popular Doom and Quake franchise. To this day, there are many from the ancient time of the 90′s who say that Duke Nukem 3D defined that generation of PC gaming with players blasting through the set-pieces, turning on sinks, and listening to crass one-liners coming straight from the mouth of Jon St. John.

Invigorated after the success of Duke Nukem 3D, 3D realms announced a sequel titled Duke Nukem Forever to release in mid-1998. It’s been fourteen years. After switching engines twice, changing development teams, the rumor to have become vaporware, and two console generations later, the Nuke has finally dropped into store shelves on the historic day of June 14th, 2011.

As I write this, it is one week later and I have completed what was once the longest-running gag in the history of video games. While it is definitely a new feeling to have reached the end-credits of a title that was announced when I was five, does this game deliver on fourteen years of development? Well, the short story is “not at all,” but of course any game that has to deliver on such a long development time will fall short of the hype it creates. However, is Duke Nukem Forever at least enjoyable?

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Chu’s Dynasty Review
Developer: Tribe Toy Games
Price: 240 MS Points
Platform: Xbox Live Arcade

I want every reader here to think of their two favorite game genres. Now, think how amazing it would be if they merged these two genres into one clever and well thought out titles. Don’t you think it’d be one of your most anticipated titles of the year that would just breeze to the top of your letter of demands to Santa Claus? The other day, I was surprisingly gifted with a review token that did that very same for me. It was a code for an XNA game called Chu’s Dynasty that mixed the cleverness of indie games with the addictiveness of fighting games. The big question is, can a $3 XNA title deliver the euphoric genre combination that it should? (more…)

Halo: Reach
Developer: Bungie
Price: $60.00
Platform: Xbox 360

I think there comes a point in each and every major game franchise where it becomes near tedious to review. Maybe this is the point where the developers need to take a break from the franchise or maybe it’s where we need better reviewers. Either way, Halo has reached (see what I did there?) that point with Bungie’s latest (and final) Halo title, Halo Reach. This is due to the fact that the Halo formula hasn’t ever exactly evolved over the years. The question here though is, is this a bad thing? If Mario can do it, why can’t Master Chief? (more…)

Costume Quest is the upcoming Halloween adventure being brought to us by Double Fine. You know, those guys that brought us the incredible Psychonauts? Well, let’s pretend that was their only title. Anywho, check out the trailer: (more…)

The other night, I decided to blog my very own personal top-ten list of games that had been released this generation. Why? So gamers had a feel of the new reviewer they were getting; so they weren’t shocked when they got on their computer screens to see the odd score for Monkey Island 2: Special Edition. Not to my surprise, a lot of very rude gamers had complaints. Actually, they all had one specific complaint. Each and every one wondered where Uncharted 2 was. To compliment my understanding of the English language, they each politely raised their complaint by posting comments such as, “No uncharted 2 = you’re a moron and your list is crap. Fuck you.” After reading a plethora (you know you just Google’d that word) of such well thought-out and very reasonable complaints, I decided I would blog a response to all.

Note: This is not a review of U2, Diego already did so very well. I disagree with it, but he wrote it. Now then, let’s dive into the controversy. (more…)

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge — Special Edition
Developer: LucasArts
Price: 800 MSP/$9.99
Platform: Xbox Live Arcade/PlayStation Network

When I was a young boy, my mother made me watch Forest Gump. That day, I remember Gump’s mother telling him never to tell a lie (or was that Pinocchio?). Well today, I am going to open this review by following Momma Gump’s advice by being completely honest. I have never played a Monkey Island game for more than an hour, nor have I ever liked, cared for, or thought about any adventure game other than Shenmue. What’s worse? The only time I did play an entry of the Monkey Island franchise, it was Escape From Monkey Island (the only one not made by my hero, Tim Schafer) on a bet with our (former?) review editor Andy Jackson. Short story: I lost. Will this rebirth be the one to sway me into the adventure game crowd? (more…)

All throughout tonight, I’ve been trying to decide what to write about. I don’t know why, but I just felt compelled to write eight-hundred words about video games knowing that only one or two poor souls will actually do more than skim the article. I debated between attacking the eleven states trying to police video games, my current reason for being displeased with Activision and Microsoft, or just not doing anything at all and playing more Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge (their’s your plug, now leave me alone). But then, I got thinking, “how fair is it for me to write any review without readers knowing JUST exactly what my taste is?” After dwelling on that epiphany for about half-a-minute, I decided I’d make this list showing my top ten games of this gen. (more…)

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was a man named Craig Ballard who drank way too much one night. The proceeding morning, good ol’ Mother Nature gave this @Darkandroid the mandatory punishment for drinking just one too many. Yes, I am referring to the one ailment that can bring down Solid Snake, Dante, Mario, Sonic, Bowser, Abraham Lincoln, Adolf Hitler, and the Incredible Hulk: the hangover. (more…)