Destroy All Humans is a strong example of what a remake should strive to be. Its visuals are updated but full of the same charm as the original, and its untouched story is still silly and hilariously dark. While it has a few frustrating leftovers from the era in which it originally released, the gameplay has largely been well adapted to the modern era.
Destroy All Humans
Developer: Black Forest Games
Price: $30
Platforms: PS4 (Reviewed), Xbox One, PC, and Stadia
MonsterVine was provided with a PS4 code for review
As a kid, I knew Destroy All Humans as the game that you got if you weren’t allowed to play Grand Theft Auto. This could be because I only saw ads for it on TV and played it at friends’ houses, but regardless of the reasoning, this perspective vastly undersells the game. Through playing the remake, I’ve learned that Destroy All Humans is actually a unique open-world title that mixes endless cynicism with goofy parody in a way that makes it entirely its own glorious and violent alien invasion simulator.
In Destroy All Humans you play as Crypto-137, an alien Furon clone who, at the behest of the Furon Empire, terrorizes Earth in order to take their latent alien DNA for further cloning. Instructed by the snarky Orthopox, masterfully voiced by Richard Horvitz, Crypto sets out to tear the world apart using lasers, telekinesis, fire blasts, bombs, and anal probes. The story is like the fever dream of an alien-obsessed crackpot, and I mean that in the best way possible.
The world of Destroy All Humans is ridiculously satirical, with characters that look ripped from political newspaper comics and dialogue that screams self-awareness. Since this first title takes place in America, there’s quite a bit of mockery aimed at concepts like military worship, the nuclear family, and all other kinds of quaint Americana. It’s charming in how excessive it is and, though this is coming from a non-American reviewer, quite hilarious at times. Watching Crypto and Pox try to comprehend American concepts like ice cream trucks and mayoral speeches is delightful, if not a bit dated. This is fine though, as the game’s script is largely unchanged form its original release in 2005.
The gameplay of Destroy All Humans is excellent, especially in this new and updated form. You’re given six sandboxes to do missions in, all of which allow for both linear level progression or meandering chaos and destruction should you choose to simply rampage. You’re provided with plenty of wacky alien powers, from the ability to read thoughts to lighting beams that can chain across numerous foes. I never got bored of mixing and matching the many powers bestowed upon Crypto, as tormenting the inferior human life forms with strange and destructive weapons is simply fun to do. You fight harder enemies later on, like robots and government mutant psychics, so the game never feels too easy.
“The audio is delightful as well, from the very hammy voice-acting that most of the cast provides to the spooky theremin-laden tracks that ooze ’50’s sci-fi.’“
You upgrade your powers using DNA, which is obtained in missions, challenges, and by sucking out human brains. The upgrades feel substantial and worth purchasing, as they do more than just increase your maximum ammo count. Lightning beams chain and power up as they hit more foes, brain-drains make surrounding foes attack their friends instead of you, and you gain the ability to lift cars like they were pebbles. My powers were so constantly changing that I never got bored of them, as it always felt like there was a new and more powerful (read: fun) ability around the corner.
The only issue comes from the somewhat dated level design. A few missions feel repetitive, and a couple of the game’s bosses are ridiculously cheap in how they attack. The final two bosses have tons of health combined with ridiculously powerful and fast attacks that make each retry feel more like a chore, making a certain amount of cheesing required against them. These issues aren’t in most of the game though, so I can mostly let them slide.
There’s quite a lot of content available outside of the story, with various collectibles littered around each location, as well as challenges that each task you with playing in different but equally violent ways. You can explore any of the sandboxes at any time once you’ve unlocked them, meaning you’re free to experiment with your new powers while hunting collectibles whenever you wish. You can also unlock different costumes, like the wonder Crypto-136 or a bovine-inspired Crypto outfit, which adds further replayability to an already robust game.
The sights and sounds of Destroy All Humans are another highlight, as everything is crisp and new without losing the original game’s art style. Enemies are delightfully stumpy and cartoonish, while the Furon have a nasty amount of detail to them (I’ll never unsee Crypto’s pulsating holes on the back of his head.) Locations each have their own style to them that makes it feel like you’re always in a new place instead of a quickly-reskinned one. The audio is delightful as well, from the very hammy voice-acting that most of the cast provides to the spooky theremin-laden tracks that ooze “50’s sci-fi.”
The Final Word
Destroy All Humans is a delightfully violent and devilishly humorous remake that, for the most part, updates the original game in an entirely pleasant and fitting way. The gameplay is mostly a literal blast, the story is pleasantly goofy, and the world wonderfully over-the-top. At a $30 price-point, you get a lot of bang for your buck, making this a great way to play what many consider to be a real classic.
MonsterVine Review Score: 4 out of 5 – Good
