Diego’s Top 10: The Official Blog of the Game of the Movie

I’ve been meaning to make a Top 10 since I joined the staff but I’ve always kept pushing it off for some reason. I guess after our latest fiasco with Zack’s list I probably shouldn’t, but I have faith that people will acknowledge that it’s my opinion. Although I’m probably going to have somebody calling me a ‘fuckhead’ and ‘fanboy’ for not having their favorite game. I’ll admit Zack is a bit of a fanboy (and he happily agrees) but I at the least try to have an open view of all games and if I don’t like a game I usually have very good reasons. I’d also like to mention I took the time to make my own image unlike Zack who’s major skills involve Google Images. I’m kidding, it sucks so if you want you can trash it too.

Now there are a few games that I would have loved to place on the list but just couldn’t simply because of space. I’m also going to consider doing a Top 10 exclusively for obscure/downloadable games because it just felt odd placing them on this list. If you didn’t see your favorite game here I either don’t like it or didn’t like it more than the ones on my list so please once again don’t hate me for having a different opinion than you.

Number 10: Scribblenauts

You might be wondering what a DS game is doing among these big budget games, well I put Scribblenauts up here for a good reason. I’m a creative person so I’ve always dreamed of the game that would allow me to fulfill many of my devious ideas and I was finally given this chance last year. I’m not like the vast majority of people who used the same objects to solve each puzzle. I would pick apart my brain coming up with different combinations that I thought would never work, and somehow managed to get me the star. Sure the stylus only controls kind of annoyed me, but it was a minor flaw in an otherwise perfect hand-held game. Remember, if you can’t figure it out then Stealth Bomber solves all your problems.

Number 9: Monster Hunter Tri

I’ve been a Monster Hunter nut since I first played it at a friend’s house on his PS2. Then I got each of the games on the PSP and clocked in over 200 hours in all 3 versions. Since I liked to consider them the same game with a few improvements I can safely say I have over 600 hours in a single game. Now MH: Tri is released and it’s even better than before. Now the monsters actually feel as if they’re not following a strict pattern, their animations are better, the attacks they perform aren’t done in the same order, the village is actually useful, and the weapons are just as awesome. It’s just something about the fact that I have to learn the monster’s movements and predict what it’s going to do so I can dodge in the safe direction then delivering the finishing blow that feels so satisfying. Nintendo really needs to ask Capcom how they did it, but they managed to make online work on the Wii. With dozens of different servers filled with hundreds of players I don’t see MH:Tri dying down anytime soon, especially with Capcom adding new quests every week. Did I mention I’m OCD about collecting things in games? I LOVE collecting all the ‘joke’ weapons/armor in the game plus my favorite sets. Oh and as a Lance player with -10 Taunt I want to say ‘your welcome’ to all the other players online.

Number 8: Duke Nukem Forever- Episode 3

I’m not actually supposed to be talking about this game, but who gives a fuck Duke is back and he’s ready to kick some ass. 3D Realms were more than happy to supply us with an early copy of the game and you can tell all of those years have been put to good use fine-tuning the game. I can’t discuss some of the story details or the 5 player splitscreen multiplayer but I will describe a few segments you can expect: Racing cruise missiles against Stalin, piloting a giant Duke mech and facing off against an army of robot samurai in NYC, arm wrestling Benjamin Franklin, & going back in time to stop the British from coming. I did enjoy the subtle humor where you literally drive a brick and park it in this alien’s club known as The Toilet. There’s one part that hasn’t been revealed yet so this is a MonsterVine exclusive: Valve has been involved in this game since it’s creation. The true story is that Duke and Gordon Freeman are the same person. After the events of DN3D Duke suffered an injury which caused amnesia causing him to think he was a physicist named Gordon Freeman. How did you think Gordon suddenly knew how to operate firearms and kick so much ass? Because subconsciously he’s slowly regaining his true memories. You might say that they can’t be the same person because they’re complete opposites, but it makes sense that when Duke forgot who he was he reverted to whatever persona he was given thus why the games are called Half Life, because you’ve only been living ‘half’ a life. You might also mention how they look different, well hair dye, growing facial hair, thinking you need to wear glasses, and years of not kicking ass will result in some muscle loss. Duke Nukem Forever: Episode 3 changes this with Duke regaining his memories and ready to kick some Combine ass. This is why Episode 3 has taken so long to come out, Valve & 3D Realms want this game to be as perfect as they can possibly make it. This year all your bets better be on Duke, and if you don’t believe a single word I said then you can all just go blow it out your ass.

Number 7: Burnout Paradise

Before I start let me mention that I’m not a big fan of racing games. I detest simulators like Gran Turismo and games like Need for Speed are only fun for me in short bursts, but there’s just something about Burnout Paradise that stole my heart and hit the turbo. Criterion did something special with this game by making it one big open world to explore. I would spend hours just driving around the city looking for the best paths to take, random jumps I could use to get ahead in a race, or simply drive to the top of a parking lot and launching off the ramp all while blasting Avril Lavigne’s ‘Girlfriend. Don’t get me started on their amazing dedication to the game with the incredible amount of dlc they added, many of which were free. This is simply the best racing game I have ever played and look forward to Criterion’s future work.

Number 6: Grand Theft Auto 4

I know I’m probably going to get flak for this but I’m going to risk it. Grand Theft Auto 4 is a game that set the benchmark on what an open-world game should be and you all know it. Sure it didn’t have the wacky humor from previous installments or anything close the insane amount of things to do in San Andreas, but I’m not going to try defending those points because I felt GTA4 to be a test run of what Rockstar wanted to do with their first next-gen game. Don’t even bother coming in here shouting how the map was too small then get the fuck out of here because you and I both know that SA had a TON of empty space with nothing to do. It wasn’t the gameplay nor the plot that blew me away, but the city itself. Never before have I played a game with a city that just felt so alive. Each corner I’d turn on there would be something happening that will catch my eye and distract me from my current objective whether it be a random event such as a man shooting-up the street after ordering a hot-dog or and old woman hitting a person on the road and running off before the police could arrive. The controls were a vast improvement over the previous installments and although I missed the wacky plot I still found the plot to work well. The addition of being able to hang out with friends also helped build more life to the game and flesh out each character’s personality. Some people hate this aspect of the game but always seem to forget you can hangup on their phone calls. I’ll admit the vehicle controls could have used a bit of work but I eventually got used to them. I’ve got to mention how I loved following people around only to have them stop and tell me to stop following me. Now that we’re done with that how about an HD Remake of Vice City Rockstar?

Number 5: Rock Band

I have a very good reason for putting this here so hear me out. Besides this choice totally being my opinion and not yours I can safely say Rock Band helped shape future music games. Harmonix started with Guitar Hero and completely revolutionized what the term ‘party game’ meant. Now you don’t have to be a gamer to enjoy what everybody is playing, nor do you have to know how to play a musical instrument. Anybody could grab the guitar and pretend they were a rock star performing the biggest concert of their life. Then Harmonix decides to create Rock Band adding vocals and drums to the mix. Instead of being limited to 2 players you could now have a full band playing at once and you could actually learn how to play the drums decently by playing this game. Not to mention the dozens of songs added weekly that have pushed the library of available songs well into the hundreds. Harmonix has shown they know how to space their games apart by offering a new game every year and creating The Beatles/Green Day Rock Band with songs only by the band and not full of songs from other random bands. What’s the point in playing The Beatles Rock Band if there were songs from The Beach Boys in it? I’m simply excited to see what they do next in Rock Band 3 now that they’ve announced the addition of a keyboard and the pro mode.

Number 4: Batman- Arkham Asylum

When news of Arkham Asylum surfaced the inner Batman geek in me got as excited as a fat kid when he sees a fudge filled chocolate cake. The thought of the Joker taking over Arkham and being able to control Batman in a somewhat open world was one of my dream ideas I had thought of for years. The art direction was brilliant, the story was enjoyable, the voice acting was simply amazing, and the gameplay rocked. Sneaking around areas taking out goons felt so good, and that’s nothing compared to swooping down and tying up an enemy, watching his companions gather around him freaking out, then using a batarang to cut him loose scaring his buddies shitless. I just got so immersed in the game that I never felt that I wasn’t playing as the Batman. Not to mention all the intense challenges they included that really tested your wit with how you approach each situation and what gadgets you’ll use. My only complaint would be the anticlimactic boss battle. Arkham Asylum 2 needs to seriously hurry up and come out.

Number 3: Portal

I’m not sure whether Valve knew they had something special locked within the Orange Box when they made Portal. I’m going to agree with Zack and say it’s one of the most original and innovative games to come out this gen. Who knew the possibilities that would arise when given a gun that simply shoots two portals with a handful of cubes and sentry guns. Not only did we get an amazing puzzle game but also one of the best antagonists of all time. GLaDoS was a beacon of hope that villains didn’t need to be aliens looking to literally teach humans the definition of extinction or a ruthless dictator looking to start World War 3. With her(it’s) constant reassurance of your imminent failure or the allusion of cake, GLaDoS followed you every step of the way spouting some of the most humorous lines to grace the genre of dark humor. I didn’t mind the fact that I never got my cake in Portal because that means I’m going to get a second shot at eating it in Portal 2.

Number 2: Uncharted 2- Among Thieves

Oh hey look Uncharted 2 made it on my list. I’ve always been a huge Naughty Dog fan and always will. Last year they released Uncharted 2 which went on to receive critical acclaim for it’s dramatic set pieces, likable characters, and brilliant story. Personally I find Zack’s opinion on this game a bit too harsh, but let’s forget that ever happened and talk about the game. Where do I start besides the fact that ND improved on everything I had issues with in the first game and more. Not only did they improve the cover system but they gave us more variety in the gameplay and locations you visit. Each area was simply breathtaking to look at and filled with an incredible amount of detail. I also have to thank ND for reminding us in a world full of disgruntled space marines that the ‘Han Solo’ personality is still a fun thing to have with Drake being a likable person and being accompanied with a great cast of characters from the smooth talking Sully to Elena who has a great chemistry with Drake. Hell all the characters have a great chemistry and work together to bring a rather predictably cliche’ plot up a few bars into a nonstop thrill-ride. Oh yea and it’s got a kickass multiplayer addition too.

Number 1: Metal Gear Solid 4- Guns of the Patriots

I’m a huge Metal Gear Solid fan so this was an obvious choice for me. The amount of cutscenes might not be your cup of tea, but I absolutely love it. Metal Gear Solid 4 was everything I hoped for and more. I got a conclusion to Solid’s story that felt satisfying while answering many questions I had, kickass gameplay with tons of variety that allowed for being sneaky or going Rambo, epic set pieces like the Rex vs Ray fight and the finale against Ocelot, and a pretty damn good multiplayer component. This is simply one of the best games I’ve ever played and I doubt anything will come close to touching it anytime soon.

Oh hey look Uncharted 2 is on the list! I doubt anyone’s going to read this part so I’ll mention I only put that there to annoy people because it didn’t get #1. I’m just kidding, and here’s a shout-out to the following games that didn’t make it: LittleBigPlanet, Mass Effect 2, Picross 3D, Machinarium, Multiwinia, Demon’s Souls, Super Mario Galaxy, Defcon, and Patapon.