Exercise in Futility

As my task for gaining all of the achievements for the games that I have rumbles ever onwards, I’m inclined to think that this is probably an impossible task. This came to a head after achieving all 50 of the achievements for Bioshock, only to have a 51st appear after completion. This, I thought, was just taking the mick. I haven’t even tried to gain that last achievement, I mean come on completing Bioshock on Hard with no Vita Chambers? Madness I say, Madness!

According to the system menus on my Xbox 360; I have a total of 1036 possible achievements, of which I currently only have 502. It’s going to be a long road ahead. A road made longer by my crippling finances not even allowing me to use Xbox Live, so I can not gain any achievement that requires a Live connection. Annoyingly this problem means that I’m only 2 achievements away from finishing the list for Fable II – I had hoped to have fully wrapped that game up before Fable III came out, but now it seems but a dream.

My current stomping ground for achievements is Pro Evolution Soccer 2009, in which I have gain exactly half the 50 total. Some of them just don’t make the slightest sense whatsoever though, for example; ‘Increase Ball Pocession’ – no instructions as to how to do this or what game mode to do it in. I have learnt that it does not give achievements for essentially playing yourself, after several attempts to gain the ‘Long Ranger’ achievement this way I finally gave up but then flocked it in the next actual match I played. The one that I’m really trying for now is a very long one indeed; in order to gain the ‘National Teams’ achievement, one must beat all 60 national teams on the game. Now even on the 5 minute match setting, which in reality is more like 7 minutes a game because of the replays and what not, that’s a massive 300  minutes of gameplay – or about 5 hours.

I used to say that I thought achievements were pointless and that you’d never catch me going out of my way to get them all, oh how things have changed. I know that my puny 9255G probably isn’t much compared to most of yours but I’m pretty proud of it, mainly because I’m not a great gamer – I love games but you can probably count the amount of games that I’ve achieved 100% completion on the hands a clumsy lumberjack.

Sirdiealot88 – or Craige if you prefer.