Fishing: It’s the sport on everyone’s lips. All the TikToks, which are definitely things I watch, are saying it’s the hot sensation that’s sweeping the nation. Kids are asking questions like “Bro, are you a smallmouth bass right now?” Maybe you have been thinking of getting in on this cool new trend. Fortunately for you, unlike most of my nerd associates here, I am a rugged outdoorsman that has probably been fishing as far as you know.
Ultimate Fishing Simulator 2
Developer: MasterCode
Price: $20
Platform: PC
Can a simulator capture the real thrill of bonding time with your old man? Standing completely still with no devices, just you up before dawn with mother nature and, of course, your father, that being me? What could be more exciting than that? Watching a guy make angry faces on Youtube for hours on end? Come on.
Ultimate Fishing Simulator 2 is, as the name implies, the ultimate fishing simulator and also the second one in the smash hit series they are all talking about on Snapchat. It is…actually, it’s a pretty good representation of fishing. This isn’t one of those wacky sports games where even if you haven’t gone outside since you quit playing T-Ball (I told you then, you could quit, but then you’d just be a quitter, and now look at you), you can have a good old time. It’s what it says on the label: A pretty solid Fishing Simulator where you can do some fishing in a roughly authentic fashion, though it pales in comparison to our Annual Father-Son Vacation, which we are actually overdue for. What should we do this year? Fishing, probably.
As it stands, there are a few different modes of play: Normal, they say, is best for new players and for fans of good fun. Why go fishing if you want to have fun? Fishing is about building character. It is nice this exists but seems useless to me. Realistic is another option and turns off things like the underwater camera, teleportation, and the ability to change the weather. I’m not fond of this one either because I am a living god that can do all those things. I suppose it will do, though, since sandbox mode was unavailable. That also seemed strange to me since fish live in water, not sandboxes.
Once you are in the game, you have a variety of ways to experience the world of fishing. There’s a residence, which feels like a museum more than a proper home, but I do deserve a museum for my fishing prowess. There are aquariums you can fill with the fish you catch on your journeys. You can even feed them. It is a veritable temple to your prowess upon the waters.
You can “Go Fishing,” which is where you fish in this, Ultimate Fishing Simulator 2.
There are tournaments where you can fish against other people. See, I know you think competition isn’t appropriately communist for a Twitterer such as yourself, but I think it’d be good for you to get outdoors, meet some people, and challenge yourself to something besides “getting likes and retweets” and “overthrowing the global capitalist state.” How’s that going, by the way? Just curious. I like to know what my kid is up to, you know.
There are even quests and skill progression, so you can get better at in-game fishing, unlock more equipment and locations, and otherwise progress. I also found this unusual since it is well known that you can spend years not being any good at fishing and never get better. I suppose it makes for a more fun game.
The equipment available is impressive. They’ve either made some good licensing deals or made some pretty convincing duplicates. I didn’t take the game down to Bass Pro Shops to compare, but it sure seemed to me like there were many of the major brands represented and a variety of fishing equipment on hand. You can also shop for rods and reels and hooks and baits, so if you don’t know something about fishing, it might be a good way to learn. You know, your old man could teach you a thing or two, but I know you’re busy these days.
You have a variety of locations, from a place that seems suspiciously like Wyoming to Slovakia to the Kiev Canal to Russia and Thailand. None of those places are in America but they are probably okay.
Once you’re actually fishing-boots-on-ground, it feels pretty authentic. You can wander around the environment pretty freely and hurl your line into the water. It is, actually, a nice way to learn to fish if you play on “Normal” difficulty, since you can use the underwater camera to see what the bait is actually doing, and there is an indicator to show you whether you are using it right. It gives you a much better idea than tying a brightly colored fake worm onto a line, hurling it into tea-colored water, and reeling it in, at least.
I did notice, given my tremendous experience in the department of fishing, that you could do something resembling an actual strategy, like yanking back on the rod to set the hook. Fish fight in a reasonable fashion, some more enthusiastically than others. It’s possible they will break the line.
If there’s something I would like, it would be a bit more guidance…speaking of guidance, are you sure about this college thing? I mean I think it’s important, but I don’t think there’s a lot of call for “Awakening the bourgeoisie and you’re thinking Media Studies to create the dialectic on Twitter and TikTok”…well, okay. Anyway, it would be nice to get a bit more insight on what baits and setup to be used in a given spot. As it is, you are stuck with the system I have always reliably used, which is looking at a bewildering array of things and going “Sure, that looks cool.” Maybe it is the Ultimate Fishing Simulator after all.
I did seem to have exceptional success for not knowing what I was doing, though that could’ve been because I was mainly playing it on Normal. Or it could be that I am a born angler and also your father who is just concerned, you know, I’m not sure all that posting on Twitter and TikTok is going to lead to the fall of global capitalism, maybe you need a backup plan? Think about it. Don’t want it to turn out like T-ball, right?
