I’ve always been a Duke fan. Shit I’ve been betting on him since I played the first Duke game. No I’m not talking about Duke Nukem 3D you little babies, I’m talking about the first Duke Nukem game that came out in 1991 and was 2D. Man those 2 games were hard as fuck but I still loved and played the shit out of them, and when Duke made the transition to 3D I nearly pissed myself with excitement. Now after over a decade of wait it seems the glory of Duke Nukem Forever will soon shine over our mortal souls and I’ve decided to compile a Top 5 list of my favorite Duke Nukem quotes. It was hard sifting through over 100 different lines but Will forced me to stick with just 5 so blame him. Also if your favorite quote isn’t here go make your own damn list, and blame Will for it too.
5.) I Think You Need Some Downtime
Duke understands that it’s stressful being an alien soldier and having to have your alien ass kicked constantly by the Duke so he’s giving you some downtime in the form of an ass kicking.
4.) Hail To The King Baby
I really didn’t want to put any of the well known quotes here because I find them overplayed, but this line has always been one of my favorites right next to “I don’t have time to play with myself”. Duke’s will always be the king so you better start hailing him.
Hail to the King by Diego Escala
3.) I’m An Equal Opportunity Ass Kicker
Duke doesn’t care who’s ass he kicks. If you’ve lost your eyesight he’s still kicking it. Lost function in your legs? Yep he’s kicking your ass anyway. Lost function in your ass from him kicking it so much? Shit man he’s kicking down the door ready to kick it again. Your asses can’t handle the amount of kicking Duke’s dishing out.
Equal Opportunity by Diego Escala
2.) Your Ass Is Grass, And I’m The Weed Whacker
Man your ass is looking pretty green. Is it that your ass has grown some grass or is it green from the blood of your friend Duke just recently killed? Either way Duke’s coming with his weed whacker to take care of that, and by weed whacker he means his boot.
Your ass is grass by Diego Escala
1.) Confucius Say Die
What’s not to get? Confucius has spoken and he says that you shall die.
